Began
Sunday, April 15, 2012 | 11:35 AM |
0 lettersCertainly, how could I be this cheezy.
I just wanted to write something.
So there.
"It all started with a smile. I love your smile. I thought how good would it be if you keep on smiling. So I want you to smile. I do everything. Anything. To make you smile. One day, you smile at me. I became greedy. I want you to smile more. So I did things. Things that make you smile. And you smile more and more every day. Greed consume me. I no longer remember why I'm doing this. Monopolize. Such scary word. It came. Hunt and haunt me. I saw tears. Paving a cold path down your cheek. But you never say you hate me. Not a word. How can I wake up if you never push the button? Wistfully, I hope you're thinking the same. Hoping that this won't stop. Are you scare too? Of what we became. Greed. We, you, I, completely blinded by it. We no longer able to remember what brought this. The smile I love so much, completely perish by my wish, to see you smile. The warmth I yearn so much. I wanted to laugh. So I did. Laugh I did. I thought the irony is funny. What a joke. The laughter.. cracked with a slight sobs. Sobs? Oh yes, I can feel it. As the warm tears paving its road leaving the cold path behind. Now, laughter and cries heard. Am I insane? Have I gone mad? For you. Surprisingly, the sobs drown me. No more laughter. Somehow, It dies. Left me crying. Why did it dies? oh, how can I forget. It's the irony. The irony is never funny. How can you say you love me after all this? How can you say you love me when the one who make that smile gone is me. What is it that I do all of this for. I no longer remember..
So I took the first step. Leave. Push myself away from you. I thought this will make you happy. Even if its breaking my heart. It's okay, I told myself. I love your smile. You - who I love. I wanted to see you happy then perhaps, this broken heart will sew itself one day. Then, I suddenly remember. All the reasons for all this madness. How could I forget? I love you. Not just yourself. You. Why now? Why do I realize only now? Why not sooner? Or why not never? I see. Punishment for making you cry. Serve me right I guess.
I thought you will smile once I left. So why don't you? Day by day, I no longer see the reason why I love you back then. The warmth has gone. Replace by nothing. You seemed to see nothing. Talk to nothing or live for nothing. Liveless and it break me seeing you like that. It hurts me even more knowing that I'm the cause. What is it that gone wrong? I ask myself. Greed and lust. Right. I brace myself. Run to you. Came out of my cowardy and hold you tight. None came out of my mouth but just sorry. Repeating once its out of my mouth. Shout. Scream. Oh yes you did. Go on. I say. Hate me. Love me. I accept them all. I will make this dream come true. Should this be a dream. Oh I pray."
Ya know.. I don't know how I write those but well.. it got me. lol
Manyloves
Began
Sunday, April 15, 2012 | 11:35 AM |
0 lettersCertainly, how could I be this cheezy.
I just wanted to write something.
So there.
"It all started with a smile. I love your smile. I thought how good would it be if you keep on smiling. So I want you to smile. I do everything. Anything. To make you smile. One day, you smile at me. I became greedy. I want you to smile more. So I did things. Things that make you smile. And you smile more and more every day. Greed consume me. I no longer remember why I'm doing this. Monopolize. Such scary word. It came. Hunt and haunt me. I saw tears. Paving a cold path down your cheek. But you never say you hate me. Not a word. How can I wake up if you never push the button? Wistfully, I hope you're thinking the same. Hoping that this won't stop. Are you scare too? Of what we became. Greed. We, you, I, completely blinded by it. We no longer able to remember what brought this. The smile I love so much, completely perish by my wish, to see you smile. The warmth I yearn so much. I wanted to laugh. So I did. Laugh I did. I thought the irony is funny. What a joke. The laughter.. cracked with a slight sobs. Sobs? Oh yes, I can feel it. As the warm tears paving its road leaving the cold path behind. Now, laughter and cries heard. Am I insane? Have I gone mad? For you. Surprisingly, the sobs drown me. No more laughter. Somehow, It dies. Left me crying. Why did it dies? oh, how can I forget. It's the irony. The irony is never funny. How can you say you love me after all this? How can you say you love me when the one who make that smile gone is me. What is it that I do all of this for. I no longer remember..
So I took the first step. Leave. Push myself away from you. I thought this will make you happy. Even if its breaking my heart. It's okay, I told myself. I love your smile. You - who I love. I wanted to see you happy then perhaps, this broken heart will sew itself one day. Then, I suddenly remember. All the reasons for all this madness. How could I forget? I love you. Not just yourself. You. Why now? Why do I realize only now? Why not sooner? Or why not never? I see. Punishment for making you cry. Serve me right I guess.
I thought you will smile once I left. So why don't you? Day by day, I no longer see the reason why I love you back then. The warmth has gone. Replace by nothing. You seemed to see nothing. Talk to nothing or live for nothing. Liveless and it break me seeing you like that. It hurts me even more knowing that I'm the cause. What is it that gone wrong? I ask myself. Greed and lust. Right. I brace myself. Run to you. Came out of my cowardy and hold you tight. None came out of my mouth but just sorry. Repeating once its out of my mouth. Shout. Scream. Oh yes you did. Go on. I say. Hate me. Love me. I accept them all. I will make this dream come true. Should this be a dream. Oh I pray."
Ya know.. I don't know how I write those but well.. it got me. lol
Manyloves
Just Me?
Hello lovelies, I don't know what to say about myself..
I'm Josephine. I'm 17 this year. Obviously from my name, I'm a girl.
There's a few warnings I'd like my dear lovelies that read this blog (which is like impossible? Cause I keep myself low profile)
First of all, This blog is about my crappy life. No, wait, my life ain't crappy at all.. It's just me being mean to my life. So yeah, if you're not interested in my life, then I'm sorry?
Second, My life revolves around Anime, mostly, Manga, definitely, Kpop, recently. I'm a Shawol. Hell yeah I love Shinee.. I'm also about to become a proud EXOtics. I will be posting about them. So, be prepare to see lots of them?
Third, SHOUNEN AI ALERT. I'M A MAJOR FANFIC ADDICT FANGIRLS. So please, turn back now if you're homophobic or whatever. No bashing around okay?
Forth, don;t expect anything out of ordinary from me. I'm just simple.
Lastly, this is no warning, please, enjoy whatever you're reading from this good for nothing blog of mine.
Oh, I'm a quote lovers. Here's a few to enjoy.
`"No matter which road we choose, as we leave behind unfulfilled dreams, life must go on."
`"Wish to forgive your yesterday, wish to love your tomorrow."
`"I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so well."
Ciao lovely and thank you for reading my rambles. I love you so much. *ugly sobbing*
They're My oxygen
