Perfezione



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credz: hnie | miracle



Friday, September 9, 2011 | 11:03 AM | 0 letters

I never really felt what disappointment really mean.
I am even wondering now if this is the so-called disappointment.
First of all, when I think about it, i felt so angry that I couldn't contain myself and would snap anytime.
Why? Thanks to some of my friends who officially abandon me inside that friggin' hell all by myself.
I thought when I told them not to, I hope that, when I actually begged not to go, if they really want to, give me a reason for me to gave up on you guys.
Why they just friggin' left me there without a proper reason that I can be satisfied of, I just don't understand why I got the urge to go and give them a few bitch slaps.
They just like a dog, one after another, when one just take the initiative to leave, the others follow her. What the fuck? Yo think yo some kind of faithful dog? That's just merely foolishness. And selfish. Looking at you guys, I don't ever understand why I ever thought of 'I can count on them too'. Was it really that hard to just stay and be what you are now? Not like you got to hold any responsibility, so why??? You have nothing to do, more or less, I got a bunch to think of. Why? Is it really that hard to just stay by my side when I need you guys the most?
Argh.. I don't understand!!! What is this feeling?
Normally I would just like this kind of matter pass cause for me, nothing seem to matter. If you die, then you die. I cry for you. If you leave, you leave. I don't need you. That is just how I live my world. So why this time I just can't let go of this foolish feeling?
I guess normal people name this 'utterly disapointed' or I have already given up on them and regretted that I ever thought of counting on them.
I hope they won't blame me for saying they're selfish or whatever shyt they had done to make me hate them, they should blame themselves for making me think like this.
I'm even pondering if they worth all this mixed up feelings inside of them. I personally think they don;t worth it if they had already gone this far, but I guess we were once a 'friend'
When i say friend, I don't mean anyone. A 'friend' is someone I acknowledge and trust. Since they're now not, I guess I wouldn't call them my 'friend' anymore. Who cares how many years we knew each other? Rome was not build in a day, but can be ruin in a second. Everything is fragile. I guess right now, I guess I will call them someone inbetween friends and someone I know.

Manyloves!

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